LOST: 30-something Woman

On the road again

I was in Boston for a few days for work. I've been back for about 48 hours and now I am off to Toronto to meet up w/Shell for the weekend! Ah....travel fun and exhausting!

I've still been keeping in touch with Voice Guy. Emails are lighter, which is perfectly fine with me. Although, last night I got an email that was bordering on flirting again. We'll see. I'm perfectly fine either way. :-)

I read this today and it made me laugh outloud!!! Why? B/c lately I had been saying to many people how I found Facebook to be sort of narcissistic. Well, apparently now there is a study that has come to that conclusion.

Um.....DUH......

Facebook users can be Narcissists

Have a good weekend! More soon!

You've got mail

I went on a meet & greet yesterday. I have been emailing with Voice Guy for nearly 2 weeks. And I mean good email. Like "You've got mail" good email, everyday. Part of me given numerous disappoints over the years of online dating, was rather comfortable just having great emails. We have the same sense of humor, we never really talked about the basic/core facts about each other, it was just fun and something to look forward to every day. His emails also made me laugh.

I had remarked to several friends who were sort of confused or thought he had ulterior motives for not initiating a meet & greet earlier, but aside from trying to work around our respective schedule, the truth is, I sort of wanted to prolong the good feeling and enjoyment of the email interaction b/c it gave me something to look forward to and it allowed me to just live in that elated excitment.....just awhile longer.

We had honest, albeit joking mention how we should meet sooner than later b/c nothing is worse than the letdown after having good email and then meeting. He was willing and cool with coming to the JC. So, we met yesterady for walking along the Hudson and some coffee.

A few funny things -- when he met he had his iPod headphones on. He continued to leave them in for the next 45 mins. I didn't say anything b/c I thought he'd figure it out, but he didn't. When he finally realized it, he was super-embarrased and asked me why I didn't say anything! I replied that I had hoped he would figure it out b/c really didn't he notice that things didn't SOUND completely right? Then I told him, I'd have something funny to tell my friends about him. HAHAHAHAHAH! He took it in stride though and laughed it off.

As I have come to learn to expect with online dating, everyone wants to put their best picture up and sometimes, it's clearly one from years ago and not immediately refective of what they look like in the present. I've come to respect some of the people who note in their profile the date or timeframe of their photos. At least it's honest, right? He was without a doubt younger in his photos and without as much hair and a bit heavier. He's 41 and I acknowledge that as we all get older our bodies may be changing.

We hung out for 3 hrs and talked easily. We're in the same industry (not same occupation, however). It was fun - but I struggled again....b/c while I really like our conversation, I don't feel the physical chemistry, but I really really really want to be his friends. I know it's practically a rare occurance to be friends with someone you've met online. I've probably even said before how I've met guys online and said i'd like to be their friend, knowing that it would never happen. But in this instance, I really do. So much that I feel like I might just tell him so. I am fairly certain he is fairly interested in me, but I also feel that in the short time we've emailed and talked for 3 hrs face-to-face, he gets me...and might even sense it. I also even feel like he might be totally cool with being friends.

I know that chemistry on all levels is very hard to find (Um...hello! Me = prime example) however, I am willing to get to know him more and test my limits a bit. Hell - I've doled out this advice to a few friends and it worked, so i can't be preachin' and not actin'...right? At the same time, I want chemistry  and am willing to wait (forever as it apparently may be) to have it. I've been single now for 4 yrs (since last serious relationship - that is) so really? I'll survive.

At the end of the day when I walked him back over to the PATH station, we did the "I had a good time" thing" and he asked if he could see me again. I said sure. He knows that my schedule over the next week and 1/2 is off b/c I'm in and out of town. So, we'll see. I plan to send my usual thank you note today and we'll see.

I'm doing good. I've had 2 dates in the last month and both were with nice good people, not maybe for me, but it was good. I haven't walked away disappointed or feeling like I wasted time b/c it was worth getting to know new people  -- and it continues to reaffirm what I feel/think about myself inside and in my head.

I'm off to Boston for work this afternoon. Back later in the week and then off to Toronto on Friday for a long weekend. BTW- if anyone has been or knows Toronto and has suggestions on where to go, hang, eat or do....PLEASE COMMENT or email! Thanks!

Things I don't get

I have been unexpectedly busy at work. I was offsite for 3 days this week. Next week, I'm off to Boston to get certified in a program to implement here. Then I'm off to Toronto to meet up with Shell for a long weekend. I can't wait. I've never been, so if anyone has suggestions, please email me or comment and let me know.

So - while I've been busy at work (like I suppose one is supposed to be) I havent' been blogging and have had time to log some observations of things I don't get.

I don't get.....

• ...why some people think that free samples of food at the grocery store is an opportunity for them to fill themselves up like a meal. Not to mention it's rude. Recently, I was at the store, they were cooking up some potstickers or something and I noticed this man who continued to hover over the food. He used the same tooth pick to continually pick up pieces of food. He seriously must have had at least 6 full size pot stickers!! He was well dressed with his blinking Bluetooth headset in his ear, so I'm going to guess he can afford to go next door to Starbuck buy himself a grande latte 2 shot latte and a muffin or one of their egg breakfast sandwiches if he's hungry
• ....why you would INSIST on walking literally INTO me when there is no one else on the staircase coming out of the subway. Seriously. There was no one to my right - a full empty open space and this woman INSISTED b/c she bumped into me walked directly INTO me as I was coming up.
• ....why you would buy a t-shirt that says, "FBI - Female Body Inspectors" on it.
• ....why you would want to be with or date or be married to the guy wearing the FBI shirt! I saw a couple walking down the street holding hands and he had that shirt on.

Whew. That felt better to get those questions out into the open!

You've all heard me rant about people stealing other people's food from the shared fridge at our places of employment. Aside from putting up signs telling people to stop eating their food, apparently people are getting inventive! Check this out....you can trick people into thinking your yummolicious lunch is moldy!

trick food snatchers!

September 11. 2008

7 years

Stalker returns

Last year, I went out on a fateful ONE drink meet & greet with JC Guy. He proceeded to harass me and bother me. 2 months later after no contact he sent me and email telling me he changed. 3 months after that, he sent me almost the same email again.  You can re-experience the email here.

Well, here we are almost a year to the DAY. You'll see his last email was around this week last year (hence when I blogged about it). Does this guy have a bookmark or something on his Outlook reminding him to email me??? Because guess what????

I GOT AN EMAIL FROM HIM LAST NIGHT!

Gesh! No. I'm NOT kidding. This time he found my profile online and wrote to me. Great we're both still single and now on the same dating site. If this isn't a sign that it's time to stop online dating, I don't know what bigger red flag flapping in the wind I need!!! Seriously.

The email was titled, "Do you remember me?" Um...yes and you are scary. The email was practically the SAME email!!!! It's also practically the same tone and words in his profile.  He wrote how he probably freaked me out last year but it was b/c he didn't know who he was and how he is now a different person and went on to talk about AGAIN how he quit smoking, lost weight, has a new job and now knows what he wants and how great it is to feel this way. Sound familiar? OMG - even the bit about his waist being smaller? He wrote that in the email I just got again! He's recycling his emails! Either that or he's a freaking parrot!

His last paragraph went on to say that he's not exactly writing to ask me out again, but that he still thinks that I'm smart, sophisticated and beautiful and that he hopes I find the right person, hopes I'm happy, wishes me luck, etc. That's nice and all but, I think that the problem is that he has no idea that his insistence and constant efforts of communication that have gone ignored after a 2 hour "date" and after a year is still overwhelming and without boundaries! It's like he wants me to tell him it's ok, to tell him that I accept his apology. Clearly what he's not getting is that he can't keep contacting me b/c I DON'T KNOW HIM and HE DOESN'T KNOW ME!!!!! My gut tells me that if I were sucidial enough to respond to him, he'd just push to ask me out again, like he didn't even write that he was sorry.

I'm not scared or anything. I just am incredulous that he doesn't "get" it. He did his own version of an apology in his email a year ago and now he is trying to apologize again? It feels like he has no filter, memory or respect for someone giving them a clear message that no...is NO.

Ugh.

Result

Prior to my last post, I had already taken action with the on-line gentleman who had sent me an email that just said, "hi". I was just curious what other people would have done or their reaction.

I sent Hi Guy an email back that said "hi" in return and said I had not gotten such a succinct email in some time and asked if he was shy. The tone was light and simple. He wrote back and said that he "was probably tired or something". Quite possibly, but at that point I would've thought he would've sent me a wink or send a bit more than one word. What I also knew was that he had been consistently viewing my profile for the whole of the last month. I noticed it was about once a week or so, that's why I asked if he was shy b/c I sort of knew he had been lurking.

In the email where he said he was probably tired it went on to write about what a nice guy he is, how the town that I live in is "trying to push all the Cubanos out" (I assume he's alluding to the widespread gentrification that most of the immediate area surrounding NYC is going thru). 

Anyway.....

This weekend proved to be a mix of highs and lows. Yesterday, I hung out w/PL Girl who was hosting a sangria tasting party in the park. It was fun to sit in the perfect weather, drink, snack and people watch. Saturday, however, was another story.  Saturday brought what was left of Hanna Hurricane. It was definitely a night that should've been spent home watching movies or cooking dinner.

Instead, I trudged thru the spitting pouring rain and wind to meet up with Tsunami Girl and friends for some girl time and then we headed to a bar party that some friend of theirs was having. It was one of those nights where I had a premonition that the night was going to be a bust. I was really late b/c I couldn't figure out what to wear that would be rainproof and cute, then getting thru the rain!  When we finally left to go to the bar nearly around 11pm, it was one of those things where you walk in to a place and immediately you just know it's not going to be good. It was teeming with 20-somethings. We couldn't find where the "private party room" where they thought their friend had reserved. There was a private party happening, but we weren't on the guest list for it (turns out it was a different party - and their friend did not have a private area) A friend of Tsunami who I don't really know literally got in the face of a bouncer SHOUTING and insisting that the private party was the one we were to be in -- it was really embarrassing b/c she was really being a bratty bitch when she really didn't have any evidence. A few of us were clearly trying to sulk away. Tsunami Girl finally found the party girl just amongst the crowd at the bar!

But the fun didn't end there! Teach Girl and I were standing by a little alcove or cubby, of which there where table & bottle service can be reserved. It just looked like people who were sitting on a bench with a bottle of vodka, ice and some appetizers. Someone bumped into Teach Girl and spilled her drink on her chest. I handed her the napkin I had in my hand from my drink and when she was finished wiping herself. She delicately put the napkin in an EMPTY and USED glass on the small coffee table. The guy sitting on the bench stood up and ROARED at Teach Girl "how dare you put your dirty napkin on my table! You should throw it on the floor!". I turned around b/c I was startled at what was going on! Teach Girl is scrappy. She explained that the glass was empty and used and she had a drink spilled on her. The guy was indigent he told her that he paid for this table and it was disrespecting him that she was putting her napkin there, how she should just throw it on the floor b/c the bar pays people to clean up later. The woman sitting next to this guy - got up and got in Teach Girl's face and shouted, "Bitch. Don't throw napkins at us!".

WHOA. When did this become about THROWING napkins? A heated exchange was occurring and I looked at these people and looked at Teach Girl and then took her hand and said, "let's move". Teach was fired up now! She was pissed and giving them evil eye. I looked back and noticed that the people at that table really had TONS of crumpled up napkins they had thrown under their table after they used them. WTF?

It had only been 20 mins since we arrived. It was now 11:45pm. I was DONE. Another 15 mins of discomfort. I didn't know these other girls who were with us that well. I tried to talk to them to get to know them but it was clear they weren't interested in talking or were just as underwhelmed with our evening as I was. Then the girl who was yelling at the bouncer earlier,was now doing the piercing WOOOOOOOO shriek as she shimmed and danced ineptly amongst some guys. Nifty. I realized it had been a REALLY REALLY long time since I had been in such a typical pick-up bar/club scene. I remember how fun it (key word) USED to be. But, now? I just felt out of place and awkward. It's now midnight (thank god) and Target Girl and Teach Girl and I looked at each other and we just went, "it's time for us to go". We laughed and left. In the cab, the rain had stopped and the taxi driver was playing Diana Krall and it was perfect. Jazzy, mellow, romantic and as I looked out the window the rain had stopped, it was just breezy and cool. Quiet and calm in the taxi. No tension.  I saw all of these people on the streets still raring to get their Saturday night started. I felt their energy and the energy of the city on a Saturday night downtown.  I had a melancholy feeling. I felt like I was in a scene that depicts my dream sequence of a romantic NYC night --it was beautiful, but what was missing was having someone I really cared about of the male gender by my side. I was made acutely aware with complete honesty to myself that I'm lonely.

Discuss

I know there is no protocal for online dating. I think everyone who goes online comes up with their own guidelines and screening process. Some may be good, some maybe not so good. It's all in the eye and discretion of the dater.

A guy sent me an email yesterday. It had one word in it.

"Hi"

????? 

Discuss amongst yourselves. I'm curious what your reaction would be.

Every Friday should be 1/2 day

Boo. Last Friday was the final "summer friday" of the year. Booooooo! This Friday we will be back to full days. What sucks is that in my department, we had been doing the every other Friday off, instead of 1/2 day Fridays. Me likey. Sometimes I'm already so bored at work that now knowing I will have to extend my boredom back to a full Friday, is really sad.

I worked for Levi Strauss in SF in the late 90's and EVERY FRIDAY was a 1/2 day. Yes, that's correct. EVERY FRIDAY. I remember going into consulting after leaving that job and it was complete hell and an adjustment. I think people would be way more productive if they had a shorter work week, don't you? Well, there is probably that one person in all of our offices who would abuse this benefit, tho.

My long weekend was relaxing. I went to the US Open. I hung out by the pool. Read. Did some yummy BBQ'ing. Playing with the dog. I ate riduculous amounts of food.

I was in Costco with my over the weekend and there was a moment where I was just standing there trying to avert getting pulled under the crush of people at Costo (it really is hellish in there!) and I SWEAR they were playing the song from "Halloween" the movie over the PA system. I am almost positive. I found it eerie and hilarous b/c really...it's kind of appropriate, but no one seemed to notice.

Last night I watched "Reign Over Me" the movie with Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle. Wow. Good movie, but really sad. I cried through several parts of the film. It was cathartic though. I believe everyone needs to cry every now and then.  I also watched the season premiere of "Gossip Girl". I was disappointed, but I still love the guilty pleasure of watching that show. Today in Times Sq, they are really bulking up the promo for the new 90210. They had a school band playing that theme song over and over and a cheerleading squad doing cheers about 90210. It's hilarious b/c HELLO???? WE ARE IN NYC!!!!! Not Beverly Hills!!!!

Ok...this was a random stream of blog nothingness. Sorry, peeps. More soon.