"single" office drama?

I was working with an SVP today at work. There are a variety of issues on her team. Mostly interpersonal issues. Oh, why am I trying to make it sounds professional. Let me give it to you straight....they are acting like immature high school kids. Seriously. There is a WHOLE "Mean Girls" thing going on there. Cliques. Leaving people out. Making fun of people, etc. I've heard more than I need to while inadvertently collecting data and conducting an assessment with this team.  I mean I even got TEARS from one girl. Such an emotionally charged group!

Anyway, as this SVP and I were discussing the results of my data collection, we got on the subject of the lack of maturity and the unprofessional behavior of some of them. She said she was going to be candid. She said that they are mostly young and some of them are in their early 30's, that it's a bit ridiculous that they are acting like high school girls (which I agree and should mention there are 2 men on the team). She then made this statement, "the other thing is they are all single and I feel like that's all they have in their life, which is work and going out and I feel like this behavior might be the result of them acting out b/c they have nothing else in their life. They all want to meet someone, but...."

I felt my head tilt a bit to the right. Wow. Did she just say that their behavior is due to the fact that they are single?? Zoinks! Of course, she is saying this as a married woman with a toddler. I actually think that this SVP is right around my age...no more than 4 yrs older than me. She said it as if, she assumed that I was married or with someone. Like...I WOULD UNDERSTAND OR AGREE.

She then made a few similar references to specific people on the team. I just smiled and got us back to what we were discussing.

The awkwards part to me....is that I acutally LIKE this SVP as a person! Do I agree that the antics on the team are ridiculous? Yes. Do I think it's b/c they are single? Um...no.

I've talked about this before, this weird thing that attached people do....FORGET THAT BEING SINGLE IS NOT A FREAKING CURSE!  Gesh! They were single at some point, too!

On the same wavelength, I encountered the following statement from someone who is not married but with a signfigant other, "when I was single I.....(fill in the blank)". Um..if people are going to get that technical b/c they FEEL like they are no longer single....we get it! Here's the thing....technically YOU ARE STILL SINGLE. YOU ARE A SINGLE HUMAN BEING!!!!!

Mmmwwahhhahahahahahaha!

You thought I was going to say that they aren't techincally single until they are married right? Naw. I'm not that prosaic or literal.

All I'm saying is ....have a filter and don't assume that the person you are talking to shares the same belief as you (unless you confirm it). Respect those that are single and still looking. You don't hear people saying, "I'm so glad I don't have kids" to people who HAVE kids, do you? Exactly.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

:-)

Comments

[Sassy Secretary]

Reading your blog post was SO deja-vu! We have the same war in our office: The Singles vs. The Marrieds! Especially around Holidays when it rears its' ugly head!! My office has every character in the book! I blog about MY office drama at sassysecretary.blogspot.com I can't wait to read more of your postings!

[Carrie]

Arghhhhh! One of my twenty-something friends/coworkers made the following statement to my face the other day: "I think it's irresponsible and selfish to have kids after the age of 32. If I don't have kids by then, I'm just not going to have them."
I'm 36, singlem and don't know if I want kids yet. I said that to her after the comment. Things have been...ummm...awkward ever since.

[NZ]

Yeah, I have the same problem with my colleagues here. And it really sucks. I hate it. Think maybe I'm holding back? Lol. And I get the relationship status thing as well. People are morons most of the time unfortunately...

[sfcoffeebean]

Wow.. all that stuff you said.. that is.. like.. TOTALLY FETCH.

[col]

i always find it odd when people ascribe so much to others' relationship status. i try to see people as individuals and not to judge them.

[T.R.]

Ooooohhhhhh, so that's why I'm still single - I'm a mean girl that's an immature high school student. Good to know!!! ;)

[snoopy]

I say "I'm so glad I don't have kids" to people who have kids all the time - b/c - I am glad I don't have kids. (shudder)

:-)