If you are single, they say that you should always be on the lookout b/c all around you there are single men who could be a potential date. I've heard people say, "always look good b/c you could meet someone at the grocery store, at Starbucks at the bank". Sure, but in my experience it's never been good. Am I generalizing? Perhaps. I am only speaking from my experience. Several years ago, I got hit on by a guy while waiting on line at Home Depot. He was a dud....nay ...he turned stalker like.
I was at Barnes & Noble one night recently, not near my home. I was in one of the Fiction aisle looking for a few titles. To tell you the truth, I didn't think I was looking my best. I was in Vans, cargo pants, tshirt and a cardigan, unwashed hair. Suddenly, I heard, "Excuse me, Miss? I don't mean to bother you....". I looked up and it's this sort of husky looking blond short spikey haired guy, in a leather jacket, denim shirt and jeans, clutching his Blackberry. I guess-timate, he was in his mid-30's. He continued, ".....I'm not from around here. I just met with my laywer (it was nearly 9pm) and I am looking for a convience store. Is there one around here?" My gut was thinking, "who meets with a lawyer this late and why do you need to tell me that?".
I said that there wasn't much, he'd have to drive a mile or 2 away and there was a CVS drugstore and maybe a gas station that had a small set-up. Sorry, dude, can't help. I go back to my book. "Um...ya, there is nothing around here. Are you from around here?". No, I responded. He starts to tell me where he is from, how he wants to spend more time in the city...la-la-la. He asks me what I do for a living. Where I work. At this point, I'm very clear that he is clearly hitting one b/c he just keeps TALKING about nothing! I reach for another book off the shelf and I even open it up and proceed to skim the first page, indicating...."DUDE. I am not interested!"
At some point he made a comment talking about some celebrity and how he doesn't get why they so crazy. Again. WTF? Still not interested. Then here it comes.....he says, "Are you chinese?". I say, "yes". He says, "From Hong Kong?". "No, my family is from Taiwan.". (let's also note. I'm taiwanese-american. born in the USA, ok? No accent here.)
He says, "Right, well that's the same thing as China. I mean it's all in the same region. It's all in the southeast asia".
UM....NO! You dingbat. It's not. Now, I'm not going to enter into the political discussion and disagreements on Taiwan not being part of China. That there is hostility between the 2 countries. The fight for indepedance, etc. I'll put that all aside, but get your geography right, dude if you want to be "in the know", which was clearly his intent.
I raised my eyebrow at him and said clearly, "Actually. It's not." He says, "Yes it is. It's south of Hong Kong". "No, actually. It's NORTH of Hong Kong." He continues to insist he's correct, putting his hands into a prayer position and aiming them down towards the ground to indicate south. Me - "I'm telling you. It's not. Trust me." He says, "Well, if you say so. I mean what I do I know? I'm just some blond white dude."
EXACTLY, you dumbass.
OK...so a few things.....
1) If you are going to put it out there to insist you know your geography of Asia...then get it freaking right.
2) If someone who has told you that you are wrong, you might want to back down a bit and not be indignant!
3) Pick up on body language cues and VERBAL cues when someone wants you to leave them alone!
He then said, "You clearly would know, I guess, where it is. Well, I don't want to bother you anymore....thanks. It was good talking to you." and he sulked off. I almost wanted to scoff loudly. But, i didn't. I finalized my book selection and as I was going towards the register. I saw him again, just aimlessly wandering the book aisles, at a swift pace, clearly he wasn't looking at book. Is he looking for his next target? At this point, they made the annoucement in the store that it was closing. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and thought, "please, don't get into line" moreover I wanted to make sure we didn't exit the store at the same time for fear we'd have another moment at the door.
In hindsight, I wished I had thought quicker and said, "You don't believe me? Why don't you just trot on over the Geography section and pull out an atlas and look where Taiwan is....we are in a bookstore afterall". But, that's not really my style. Although, damn....it would've been hella funny if I had!
What a retard. Hands together in prayer at you? What the feck? Totally needed to go re-educated himself in the map section... and in a BOOKSTORE as well.
Sounds like the guy stalking the shoe section in a department store one time I had the unfortunate experience of running into.
Posted by: SFCoffeebean | November 10, 2009 at 07:45 PM
If you read Gavin DeBecker's book The Gift of Fear, the hair will stand up on the back of your neck. This guy was "interviewing" you-- you're lucky that you have enough self esteem to have stood your ground in this conversation. Somewhere in your town, I'm betting another gal got into trouble that night...
Posted by: P Watson | October 29, 2009 at 02:12 AM
What bothers me is the sense of entitlement. Understand when you are out of your league buddy. How dare you! So many men have that "sky's the limit" mentality... They can be total schlubbs but still expect to be in relationships with women who have it all together. Maybe their mothers overindulged them and their egos. Bah!
Posted by: Col | October 25, 2009 at 12:42 PM
OMG haha as I am reading the story I kept thinking - send him to the maps section -- then I read your last paragraph and laughed so hard!
Ughh men like that are just not worth wasting your time.. in fact I would've totally preferred him to be sweet and kinda nerdy -- that would have been way more of a potential in my mind, cuz this guy sounds sleezy!
Posted by: Bangs | October 24, 2009 at 05:26 AM
UGH. I've had similar kinds of experiences. I'm a violinist and everyone has a family member who is a "concert violinist" which unless you're Itzak Perlman, you're no "concert violinist" - I had a dude try to work on it with me using that angle - I just let him talk and looked away - when he stalked me to my car after yoga I got irritated, now I just roll my eyes and look pissed off if I have to see him. YUCK!!
Posted by: T.R. | October 22, 2009 at 01:50 PM