How long is MIA ok?

What would you do?

Back in August, I had a few....nay....2 email interactions with a guy. I responded to him and then he just went MIA. Disappeared. We had exchanged "real" emails.

Sadly, this is not uncommon when you online date. I call it going into the black hole. Just disappear. Is it rude? Probably. But, it's such a norm and if you've become a practical veteran of online dating like me.....you deal with it. It's disappointing, but the reality is you've never met these people, so really how can you take it personally? Or get attached?

I got an email last night from this guy who went MIA in August! He wrote, "Hey Lost - A long time for me to reply, so my apologies. Let me know if you'd like to try and meet up sometime"

Hmm.......

I have no recollection of who he is. What he looks like. Anything about him. I read back through our email thread, but it was so surface. It's also 3 months later. It's mid-NOVEMBER! Back in August, he said his membership was expiring and gave me his real email. I just found his user name and looked him up on the online dating site. He's there.

So....the question is.....is there a statute of limitations on how long is too long to get back in touch with someone? Since you don't know each other and the fact is you are both single....do you give it a shot? Do you believe him? Maybe he started seeing someone and it didn't work out? Several years ago this happened to me. I felt a bit slighted and after 2 months from not hearing from him, I just never responded.

 While the timing wasn't right for him several months ago? The timing isn't great for me now. I'm leaving for Asia in a week and I'll be gone until Dec 9th.

Thoughts?

Comments

[Calia Roze]

Your blog is really great! I'm sort of in a similar place in life! I hear everything you're saying. The online dating thing never worked for me for some reason. Much older men saw my picture and hadn't read my profile at all I guess! When it comes to guys going MIA- it's very typical! I usually chalk it up to them being interested in someone else at that time and when it doesn't work out, they resurface! Being rather "anonymous" online makes it even harder for us to hold them accountable! It happens in the "real" world too. I just think that women are more willing to communicate their thoughts about what is really going on, while guys tend to simply disappear until they need attention again! Again- I love your blog! I want to start following it! Check mine out when you get a chance. http://caliaroze.blogspot.com Happy day! Calia

[LV]

I agree with freckledk -- might as well wait til you get back from your trip to write back.

And I don't think he's been particularly rude -- remember, he knows nothing about you, so this isn't personal. If I had to guess, he probably met someone a few months ago, but it didn't work out.

[freckledk]

I would not respond until you get back from your trip. A similar, "Hey! Long time for me to reply..." email will suffice.

[T.R.]

It's so true - black hole. As far as MIA guy, I don't know - if you don't remember him, why bother. His email sounded cursory, as if his online activities were stagnating so he was seeing what else to get going.

You're gone for a whole month!!!?? :(

[N]

I agree with your calling it the 'black hole' - b/c that's what it is. Given the lack of info about basically everything (who is this person, why did he disappear, etc.), I'd say it's totally up to you to decide whether it's worth it or not. We have no clue why he delayed in his response: could've been a good reason, could've been a bad one. Since it's a bad time for you, you might consider waiting to reply until it's convenient for you, if you even want to respond at all. There are no rules and hopefully at this very early stage, no expectations!

[juliebee]

this is setting a bad tone to your relationship right from the beginning. he does something rude and you take him back. kick him to the curb! - just my 2 cents.